Time flies?

Guess I'm not doing a very good job keeping this blog updated!

Woke up to Bill leaving the house, shuffling around, dropping things, making weird noises I was sure would wake Lydia. He was planning to leave at 7 but I think he was up and going before 5am? Oh well, he's gone!!!

Lydia was restless and coughed herself all over the place.
Cancelled a 930am photoshoot with Kip May. Probably for the best, couldn't afford it anyway.

Rough, grumpy morning.
She hit me in the head with a toy hammer.
She combed my hair with a tiny comb when it was in thick sleepy curls and it hurt so bad I screamed.
Ouch and ouch.

She colored on the wall with a red crayon.

She wouldn't eat any of her breakfast.

She is tired. I am tired.

Your Mom came over around 11. I went to take Jean and EJ to get their new car that had been treated with some stain resistant thing..anyway, they are headed to West Baden Springs for overnight for Evan's 5 year award with Cook.

Lunch with your parents.

Lydia asleep by 2.
When she wakes up we're going to my parents.

I didn't accomplish anything during her nap. I moved all the laundry to fold it, but just watched 30 Rock and baby monitor and didn't fold anything.

I think I'm depressed.

Wherever You Are, my love will find you by Nancy Tillman

This is from the book that I bought for Lydia.
But, I thought about you the entire time I read it.
It's amazing.
I feel like I bought it to say it to you.
I also feel like you should give it to her from you.

Here it is:

I wanted you more than you ever will know,
so I sent love to follow wherever you go.

It's high as you wish it. It's quick as an elf.
You'll never outgrow it...it stretches itself!

So climb any mountain...climb up to the sky!
My love will find you.
My love can fly!

Make a big splash! Go out on a limb!
My love will find you.
My love can swim!

It never gets lost, never fades, never ends...

if you're working...

or playing...

or sitting with friends.

You can dance 'til you're dizzy...
paint 'til you're blue...

There's no place, not one, that my love can't find you.

And if someday you're lonely,
or someday you're sad, or you strike out at baseball,
or think you've been bad...

just lift up your face, feel the wind in your hair.
That's me, my sweet baby, my love is right there.

In the green of the grass...in the smell of the sea...
in the clouds floating by...at the top of a tre...in the sound crickets make at the end of the day...

"You are loved. You are loved. You are loved," they all say.

My love is so high, and so wide and so deep, it's always right there, even when you're asleep.

So hold your head high and don't be afraid to march to the front of your own parade.

If you're still my small babe or you're all the way grown, my promise to you is you're never alone.

You are my angel, my darling, my star...and my love will find you, wherever you are.

You are loved.

6

Preschool on time, for once, even got my shower before leaving.
Had plans to attend 930am Weight Watchers, Lydia had difficult goodbye so I was going to be late.
Got Bakehouse. Muffin. Water.
Got a lot done at home, all the floors and laundry, etc. Bleh, kitchen seems overwhelming.
Barely got the trash out in time.

At preschool pick up, Lydia pitched a shovel of sand in to her own face. Awful!
Wiped it all off with help of teachers. Washed and washed inside, changed clothes and diapers.
Not happy with the sand still in her hair and eyes but thankfully she was not injured or unhappy or uncomfortable.

Lunch at home, Jimmy Johns. She is silly. Had fun in high chair with Creepy Baby.

Can sing the words to Hush Little Baby...if you stop the song she'll say the word at the end of a phrase. Impressed me!

Nap time another struggle after lots of loving talking, rocking, reading, nursing, went in crib. Less than 10 minutes, but she was just wild. Nursed and held her in bed. Gave up and took nape with her. Woke up around 430pm.

Took to Aunt Jean's house. Lydia happy to play there. Had dinner with Jean's family, ate ok. Had fun playing did well. Tired when I got back and happy to go home.
Weight Watchers was uneventful, nothing good or bad. I think the meeting aspect will only be helpful for accountability with the weigh in and goal weights. The online tracking will be much more useful than paper tracking. I wish I had a space age phone with an app to do it for me.
I entered what I had eaten today and was suprised I was only 2 pts over the goal. Maybe I can do this afterall.

Stayed up way too late.

Oh, randomly, Susan called asking to read bedtime stories to Lydia. She was here for bedtime and read some stories. Lydia was not loving, did not listen to stories or want to have hugs or kisses. I can tell this pissed off your Mom. Comments were made about how little she has seen her...since SUNDAY omfg. Oh whatever. She is watching her tomorrow night when I go to stupid bell choir.

I liked our phone calls today. Your voice sounds happy.
I REALLY miss you. More than I thought I could.
Staying busy sort of helps, but only in that I don't have time to dwell on being sad because I miss you so much. It doesn't make me miss you any less. I think that is why night time is going to be so hard and why I can't get to sleep. When I slow down and quiet down to sleep I miss you so much I can barely stand it.

Oh well, to take care of Lydia I've got to get some sleep, so I guess I'll go try.

Last thought: Grandma has surgery tomorrow. None of her kids or regular friends are available to help. I'm nervous being resposible for her and having Lydia. If something goes wrong I'm not sure what I will do. We have to be ready and at her house no later than 8am to get her to the hospital by 830am and then I have to get Lydia to school and I guess spend the rest of the time she is at preschool at the hospital with my Granmda. I am teaching 3 days for the American Red Cross in the next few weeks, so I've got to find a way to swing by there too.
I'm sure it will all be fine. It's honestly after she gets home that I am more worried about.
Bleh.

5

Tuesday.
School, late, like 930 before we got there, difficult morning.
Oh right we have the fresh snack today. Frick.
Go home, cut up apples and bananas.

Nothing to do, tired and depressed.
Take Lydia to Subway and then have lunch with my Dad.
Go home, nothing to do, tired and depressed.
Nap time struggle, ends up napping 3 hours.

Go back to my parents house with leftovers of Asuka food, lasangna, stuffing and various other things I had in my fridge. Weirdest dinner ever.
Left to start YMCA membership. Good to accomplish SOMETHING.

Lydia did not like bath and was grumpy.
Did not want to go to sleep, up very late again, nursed and read all stories and she insisted that she was very hungry so we went down for a snack of crackers.
She finally fell asleep around 10pm.

Ugh.

4

Monday. Back to real life?
Lydia did well at school.
I wasted the time and accomplished very little.
Nap was a fight, but she slept in her own crib.
I can't remember what we did.

We had dinner at my Grandma's house.
We took Chicken Teriyaki from Asuka. $30 freaking dollars!
Way too much food.
Lydia and Nana had a good time.
Grandma has surgery this week so we talked about that, we are taking her to the hospital.
Walked around the neighborhood, met Jenny (dog) and Velma (human).
Saw neighbor Mary and a sick Pigeon in a bird bath.
Green pumpkin light, Lydia likes to hit it to make it come back on.
Difficult bedtime.
10pm!

3

Special Sunday.
Death Row wrongfully committed, speaks on ending Death Penalty.
Bells Play.
Pitch-In after church.
Family dinner at Jim & Claire's with Lydia, Grandma, Jean, Evan, Everett.
Lydia and I stay for bathtime and deer.
Not home until around 9pm.
Lydia went right to sleep.